


My Blood - stay with me

by BlueBamboo4



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Dema institute, Depression, Fluff, M/M, Mental Illness, Self-Harm, dema, depressed Tyler, joshler - Freeform, my blood music video, my blood mv, psychologist josh, trench, trench album
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 00:15:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16565885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBamboo4/pseuds/BlueBamboo4
Summary: This is inspired by the My Blood music video.Tyler is sent to Dema Institute after he realizes that Zack doesn't exist. He is lonely and depressed until Josh comes to work as his new pyschologist and may be the only person who can help him.(also on Wattpad)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I will be posting a new chapter every Friday
> 
> Also there is some inconsistency with the past and present tense throughout, but honestly I don't want to change it so what evs.

**Tyler Pov**

~

  Everyday starts the same. I wake up in a boring grey room with nothing on the walls and sing quietly to myself until it’s time for breakfast, then free time, then therapy, then free time, then lunch. You get the point. My days are not worth living but i can’t do anything because i'm stuck inside these walls of Dema institute. A place for the insane and suicidal. Pretty much describes me. 

 

  It’s all Zack’s fault, if he existed it would be his fault. But i still blame him because if i blame myself for anything else i won't have any reason to be mad, which is the only emotion i have left besides depressed. I'm just holding onto what ever i need to survive however long i'll be in this place. 

 

**Flash Back**

~

  Today is somber in the house i would describe it as a muddy tan color. Not happy or sad but numb. Not a color that many people associate with anything in particular.

  My mom had been sick for a while and was now in hospice at the house. Not allowed to leave her bed. It was okay though, my father was right by her side and my brother Zack was right by my side helping me through Mom’s funeral and even tucking me in at night just like she used to do. Our Father was always too drunk to do anything, and even when he was sober he ignored us completely.

 

  I soon became depressed but it wasn’t too bad since Zack always had my back. We would run around the neighborhood causing trouble and stay up late at night talking about life and all the new songs i had written. He liked it when i rapped fast. 

 

**End Flashback**

**~**

  I was interrupted from my thoughts when the nurse Brendon walked in to remind me that i had therapy in 2 minutes. I nodded to signal that i understood. I was  sitting in my room which is what i always do during free time. Brendon always understood, that’s why i liked him, not enough to actually talk to him though. The little energy i have shouldn't be wasted to talking to a bunch of people who had no idea how i feel. Speaking of which time for therapy, or sitting in a room while this nosy lady tries to understand me and force me to talk. I hate it.

 

  I walked in and took a seat as she began talking. I never bothered to remember her name because it is unimportant to me, just like everything else.

 

“Good morning Tyler. How are you doing?”

 

My day was Shitty and uneventful as usual but she doesn’t need to know

 

“Quiet as usual i see”

.......

.......

“ Tyler if you ever want to leave this institute you have to give me something to work with”

.......

.......

“ Fine i don’t have time for this nonsense. Just go back to your room”

 

  She sighed heavily as i scooted my chair back from the table and silently went back to my empty room. As i walked by the main area where everyone was playing games or just talking i heard someone mention that the pyschologist had put in her two weeks notice because she didn’t feel like her skilled were being used here.

 

  It was probably because of me. Anyone who tries to get close to me eventually disappears just like Mom, Dad, and Zack. 

 

  I layed down after dinner and sang myself to sleep. 

 

“I can't believe how much I hate

Pressures of a new place roll my way

Jumpsuit, jumpsuit, cover me

Jumpsuit, jumpsuit, cover me

I'll be right there

But you'll have to grab my throat and lift me in the air

If you need anyone, I'll stop my plans

But you'll have to tie me down and then break both my hands

If you need anyone

I'll be right there”

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw Twenty One Pilots on Sunday in Seattle even though I live in Colorado. I just love Seattle so much and Tyler and Josh were so amazing and I was really close to them so now I have no voice left since I was screaming so loud. I painted my nails and even dyed my hair yellow. They also played TaxiCab from the self-titled album and i was living. So if you wanna see more you can check out my Instagram 
> 
> @bluebamboo4
> 
> Also ao3 wouldn't let me update this till now so, sorry for being a little late on it. I will post another chapter tomorrow just to catch up with the day that I missed last week.

Tyler Pov  
  
-  
Today when i woke up Brendon came in to tell me that my day would be all free time bsides meals since the psychologist wouldn’t work with me anymore. Obviously.  
  
Usually i had therapy sessions during visiting hours for the others. It’s not like anyone wants to visit me anyway. Sometimes the other patients talk about letters that distant family members send and i can’t help but think of Zack.  
  
Flashback  
-  
  
We were both in high school just a grade away since he was older. Zack always wanted to do something adventurous and crazy. I went along with it because’ it's not like i had anyone else to hang out with.  
  
“Tyguy i have a great idea.”  
  
I rolled my eyes  
  
“Zack, if it gets the cops called again then nah”  
  
“Aw come on, it’s no fun without a little danger. Besides we’ve never been caught before right?!”  
  
“Fine, i guess you’re right. But not anything too crazy okay?”  
  
“Okay. Okay…..Grab that Bat!!”  
  
He ran out the door knowing i would follow anyway  
  
“WHAT!! The Bat?! ZACK!! You said it wouldn’t be too crazy!!”  
  
I grabbed  the bat and ran out the door  
  
“Zack wait up!”  
  
An Hour later we were destroying mailboxes creating a trail of letters behind us. We could hear a few angry people through the neighborhood.  
  
“See Tyguy nothing like some good old mailbox baseball!”  
  
Zack picked up a paper that fell on the ground.  
  
“Look Tyguy, a halloween party. I guess we're invited now”  
  
Sirens started wailing in the distance  
  
“Zack!?”  
  
“Run Tyguy Come on!!”  
  
We ran away laughing  
  
End of Flashback  
  
-  
  
I sat in my room quietly laughing until Brendon walked in  
  
“Woah Tyguy laughing? That’s new”  
  
No one calls me that besides Zack. I whispered,  
  
“Don’t call me that”  
  
Brendon looked shocked and didn’t speak for a few seconds. It’s understandable. That’s the first time i’ve spoken to him in the 3 years that i’ve been here.  
  
“Oh...uh….sorry Tyler.. just .. um wanted to let you know that a new Pyschologist named Joshua is starting next week. So you’ll be back in one on one therapy by then. But for now the director wants you to go to group therapy. Sorry”  
  
It’s not like i’m gonna talk anyway so whatever. It doesn’t matter if its group sessions or not. The one thing that slightly caught my interest is the new therapist, the last 2 we had were women. Nothing wrong with that but they reminded me of my mom which made me even more closed off to them. In this place i didn’t want any reminders of my past shitty life, and especially not of mom or Zack. Brendon spoke up again.  
  
“ I’ll be going now Tyler so just hit the nurse button if you need anything and ill be there. We’ll see you later bud.”  
  
That was nice of him. I guess.  
  
I didn’t feel like thinking anymore so i took a nap for the rest of the day until Brendon woke me up for meals. Another boring day. The only change is that in three days i would be meeting that new guy Jish or whatever the hell Bren said his name was.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note. I work at Hot Topic and I had to work 8 hours on black Friday and 5 hours on t hangsgiving. It was crazy and I'm so tired but hope you enjoyed the chapter and had a good Thangsgiving
> 
> Stay Alive ||-//


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has Josh in it!! Kinda short but the next chapter gets really good

Time Skip 3 days 

Tyler POv  
-  
Today is the day. The day that i go meet this new psychologist and sit there quietly as he asks a billion questions to try to understand me. I just hope that Brendon told him already that i don’t talk so that he doesn’t get the idea in his head that he can make me talk. Speak of the devil.

Brendon walked in

“Hey Tyler. Time for your session”

I followed him as usual to the office and sat down. That’s odd normally the doc is already in here when i sit down but that didn’t bother me too much. I just want to get this over with so i can go back to my room. The door opened and Brendon turned around

“Hey Josh. This is Tyler”

“Thanks Breadbin”

They both just laughed as i sat there confused on what that even meant

“Whatever Dr.Dun”

“Dude that makes me feel so old”

“Yeah well i only stole that bread for a dare okay?”

“Okay dude whatever you say”

They laughed again before remembering i was there. Brendon spoke to Joshua again before leaving,

“Oh sorry dude i’ll leave you to the session, Talk to you later”

“See you Bro”

Josh sat down behind the desk and started shuffling through the drawers

“Hi Tyler, im Josh. your new psychologist. Aha!”

He found what he was looking for and pulled out the wii game Mario Kart. I was even more confused now, and i’m guessing he could see it on my face because he explained what was happening.

“Oh sorry Ty i should explain. Is Ty okay?”

I nodded. As long as it wasn’t Tyguy i could care less.

“Cool. Well Ty i brought my wii and set it up in my main office (he has a main office and then the office he does sessions in) and so i thought you might wanna play. I’ve heard from brendon that you don’t talk much so i assume you dont wanna answer questions. My job isn't to understand everything about your life, but to simply help you feel like your not in such a dark place and help you feel comfortable enough to be share with me whatever will tell me exactly how to help. So no questions for now, just games and relaxation.”

I can already tell that this is gonna be way better than anything that’s happened since i got here. We walked to his main office which was past these locked double doors that no patient is allowed to go out of but apparently he talked to the director and convinced him that i wasn’t going to do anything bad and Josh would make sure of it. It’s the first time that i had gone beyond those doors since i got here.

When we walked in his office i was surprised. His office is filled with blink-180 and guns and roses posters along with a bunch of other bands that i recognized. He had a small desk with a computer and papers on it and then a couch and fluffy rug in front of an entertainment center with a tv, wii, playstation, and a gamecube. It is like a teenagers dream room. There is even a mini fridge with red bulls in it.

Josh put the game in and sat on the couch while i just stood there shocked

“ Come on Ty. Have a seat. I know it’s not the boring adult office that you were expecting but i hate adulting so yeah. You may also be wondering how i even got this job if I can't adult but, i am one of the best psychologists in the bidniz.”

He said as he handed me a gamecube remote.

“If you wanna use the wii remote you can. I just know that most people like using the regular controller.”

He was right i did like using the controller from what i remember. I nodded to show him that it was fine and we continued onto the game.

30 min later  
-  
“Oh my god! How are you so good at this? That’s totally unfair.”  
Josh yelled  
I smiled at how upset he was at the game. Right after he said that Peach drove up and knocked him off the course causing him to be in 12th place. 

“What the Fuck??!! Fuck you Peach with your fucking pink car! You deserve being kidnapped by bowser so many times you Bitch!!”

I laughed so hard at that which caused Josh to stare at me for a second before turning his attention back to the game.

“Oh sorry Ty. got a little crazy there but i’m Good now” 

Right after he said that he got hit with a red shell

“FUCK!!”

I couldn’t help but laugh even harder

30 Min Later

Brendon walked in as we were finishing up on Rainbow Road. I was in 2nd and Josh was in 5th

“Wow Josh you suck at this”

“Shut up brendon. Everyone knows you get the best items in 5th and 6th place”

“Okay but you might wanna get those items soon. Tyler’s already in 1st”

He looked over at my half of the screen

“What?! No way he was just in 2nd and far behind first. That is some witchcraft if i’ve ever seen it”

I laughed again and Brendon looked very surprised. He’s never heard me laugh at all.

We ended with me winning and Josh yelling at Peach again for beating him. Bren just rolled his eyes and escorted back to my room after Josh said bye.

“I’m glad you had fun Tyler. I’ve known Josh since high school and he was always friends with everyone.”

I got back to my boring room and just reflected on everything. So much happened today and it was so fast that i almost couldn’t handle it. Almost. Josh had been watching me the entire time making sure this wasn’t too much.   
I hate to admit it but i actually was excited to see Josh tomorrow. Honestly i feel happy and i actually learned someone’s name besides Brendons. That’s progress that i never thought i would make. What i didn’t know is that the other patients heard the nurses talking about how josh took me outside the patient area, and they all hated me for and didn’t plan to just let me be.


	4. Chapter 4

Tyler Pov  
-

The next day i was sitting in my room. Like always when one of the patients came into my room who at first i thought was Brendon so i didn’t pay any attention to them till they came over and punched me across the face making me fall off the bed and clutch my bleeding nose while still on the ground. He started kicking me in the ribs.

“How did you do it? Huh? We all know you got that new therapist guy to take you out of here. You piece of shit. I heard one of the nurses say you are here because of your imaginary friend! Zane or Zack or some Shit! You’re the least deserving of special treatment, what did you do, suck his sick or something?!”

I was surprised that none of the nurses heard this going on but at the same time i got pissed off at him mentioning Zack. He had no right. I started screaming which shocked him enough to stop kicking me and take a step back which was his mistake. I quickly got up and tackled him into the hallway and started scratching his arms which he had thrown up in defense as well as punching his torso. His arms were bleeding and full of scratches by the time the nurses ran over and pulled me off of him. 

I struggled against their hold as they brought me to the padded solitary room that they used when patients become violent. I don’t know how long it was but for a while i continued to bang on the padded door and scream my lungs out. My eyes were full of tears making everything blurry. When i noticed that no one was coming back i started to hyperventilate sending me into a panic attack. 

I sat in the corner of the room scratching my own arms until they were dripping with blood. Since the nurses had cameras in the room they ran in and held me down while they stuck a needle into my neck to sedate me. I fought them. When i first got here, when i talked but minimally, i had told brendon that i never want to be sedated because it keeps me asleep too long which gives me more time to dream. And i only dream of Zack. The last thing i saw was a blurry Brendon above me.

“Sorry Tyler, but we have to keep you from hurting yourself”

Everything slowly faded to black.

Dream/Flashback

It was afternoon and Zack and i had left the house to just go on one of our random adventures. We came across a fence with an empty field behind it, so of course Zack suggested we hop the fence. After we were over it Zack suddenly bend down and called to me

“YO TYGUY! Come look at this dead crow!”  
I really didn’t want to see it but i was kind of interested i walked over and laughed

“Zack, that’s a raven not a crow”

“What?! How can you even tell?”

“I don’t know Zack i can just tell”

“No way this is a crow for sure, look!”

He picked it up by it’s wing and shoved it toward my face

“Oh my god, i’m gonna throw up.”

“No your not. Ha Look at it”

 

He shoved in my face again and the smell and thought of it being dead overcame me and i spewed all over the ground as Zack jumped back

“Oh Shit TYguy. I guess you were right. i’m just glad you didn’t throw up on me.”

We both just laughed as he set the crow down and pulled out a flask

“Here get rid of the taste with this”

He shoved it into my mouth as the taste of Fireball filled my throat with that cinnamon burn. He took a swig himself as he jumped on the metal telephone structure.

“See Tyguy we don’t need anyone but each other to have a sick adventure! Ha literally”

“Funny, real good one Zack.”

“ah you know I'm just kidding around dude. I'll always have your back, for real”

End Dream/Flashback

I slowly gained consciousness and noticed that i was in a hospital bed with my arms and legs strapped down with padded cuffs. My forearms were also bandaged up from my scratches and they burned from how deep the wounds were. As i looked around my eyes landed on Josh sitting in the chair at the end of the bed reading a book. His eyes looked up and met mine.

“Oh Glad to see your awake Tyler”

He moved his chair closer to the bed as i averted my eyes so i was staring out the window.

“Tyler i know you don’t want to address what happened”

He was right

“But i must tell you that attacking someone is not okay”

I could feel a tear slip out of my eye

“I’ve reviewed the footage from the facility cameras so i know that Mike went into your room and attacked you first, hence the bandage on your nose. He will have punishments and privileges taken away. But the director also wants you to have some punishments such as no leaving your room for a few days while this is sorted out. So i will be coming to your room for therapy. You’ll be released from here in two days once i do a pysch evaluation and we make sure you don’t get any infections in your wounds”

I didn’t mind. It’s not like i leave my room anyway.

“Also, i have been told that once you are healed enough to leave the hospital someone has asked to visit you.” 

This caught my attention so i pulled my eyes away from the window to look at Josh with a confused look indicating my question of who?

“It’s someone named Jenna”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh cliffhanger. Anyway Happy Birthday Ty. I'm such a proud Dad!!😚
> 
> Stay Alive ||-//


	5. Chapter 5

Tyler Pov  
-

“What?”  
I quietly asked

Josh looked a little confused on who this person was and why they were so important that i would actually talk. Even if it was only one word. 

“Um..Yeah. She called to ask if you were allowed visitors so if you want to you can visit with her In a few days. Take your time to think about it and let me know your answer. If you want to tell me something but don't want to talk then just point to your lips and I'll give you a pen and paper.”

That's nice. The psychologists just wanted to force me to talk. As if talking would solve my problems. I also didn’t need to think about my decision. I want to visit with Jenna. I wont tell josh till tomorrow since im tired now and just want to sleep but Jenna had always been important to me until she abandoned me.

Flashback  
-  
Jenna was on the cheerleading squad at school. We had been friends since middle school and still occasionally hung out after school. Except today, when her and two other cheerleaders decided to hang out with some jocks and show off their routine. So basically just flirting with the football players but making it seem like they were just showing off some moves.

I told Zack about this as we were on the way home and of course he had some dumb idea.

“Well, if jenna doesn’t want to hang out with you then let’s go hang out with her.”

He turned back around and started walking back toward school

“Wait Zack!! That’s not a good idea”

“Come on Tyguy have a little fun. It’ll be great we can show them some good moves to add to their routine.”

He laughed as i followed after him. I knew that i wasn’t gonna change his mind so i always end up going along with his dumb stunts.

We got to the field and Zack ran towards them and started doing cliche cheer moves which just made the cheerleaders confused and the jocks mad.   
One of the them yelled at us,

“Hey!!! Freak get the fuck out of here. What do you think you’re doing?” 

Zack just kept dancing before jumping on the fence 

“aww, you don't like my cheering fuckface or is it cause i’m not in a mini skirt?”

They came around the fence as Zack yelled at me to run. They chased us off the field and we ran home laughing. Well Zack laughing me not so much.

That night I got a text from Jenna.

Jenna🎀: Tyler I can't believe you did that. Please never do that again  
Ty💀: Sorry, it was Zack's idea but I'll make sure to never tell him when you're staying after school again  
Jenna🎀: Really Tyler? You can't keep blaming everything you do on Zack. 

For some reason Jenna didn't believe me that Zack exists since he was a year above us so we've never had classes together and when she hangs out he is always out doing stuff.

Ty💀: watever gn Jen  
Jenna🎀: gn Ty

End flashback  
-

I was brought out of my memories by Josh 

“Tyler? You okay there bud. You zoned out for a while there.”

I nodded my head

“Okay well i talked to the nurses and they said that i can take off the restraints as long as i’m here to monitor you.”

I nodded my head again but could feel my eyes watering as i thought of why i was even being restrained. As Josh undid the restraints i let a tear slip down my face which Josh immediately noticed but before he said anything i spoke up 

“I’m sorry”

He didn't look as shocked as the first time he heard me speak

“Ty. it’s okay. None of this is your fault. None of it. I can tell you don’t want to talk about it so how about i tell you why i call Brendon, bread bin and other stories, since i know you must be curious about that still?”

I don't know how Josh could always tell what i was thinking but it didn't matter. I nodded and Josh began his tale after scooting his chair right up to the hospital bed as i layed down and got comfy

“Well it all started our sophomore year of high school when a few of my friends and i were walking late at night to the store to get a bunch of snacks and redbull. Right when we got to the doors Brendon came running out with like ten loafs of bread in his arms and a beanie pulled over his face. I only knew it was him because he saw us and yelled, “hey Josh.” but then he tripped over a trash bin that was outside the store. He got up and collected all the bread before running off again being chased by a security guard”

Josh took a break from the story as we were both laughing really hard and he had to catch his breath and wipe the tears from his eyes.

“Ha! And he was never caught, ha ha so he lived off of sandwiches and toast for like two months”

Just then Brendon walked in to check up on me.

“Oh no if Josh is laughing this hard, did he tell you the bread story?”

I nodded and laughing as Josh was clutching his stomach and laughing still

“Oh my god it hurts i'm laughing so hard”

Brendon just chuckled before taking a seat and explained how the bread thing was a dare from some kid which just made Josh laugh even harder. 

This was the first time that i actually kind of enjoyed being in Dema. With Brendon and more importantly, Josh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writting that bread part of the story 😂
> 
> Stay Alive ||-//


	6. Chapter 6

Tyler pov  
-  
I was still in the hospital being watched over mostly by Josh and Brendon. My wounds were starting to heal, which made me a little nervous since i would have to go back to my room, and what if other people were mad and decided to mess with me as well? I wasn’t worried about other people beating me up, i was worried about being reminded of zack by them.

It was morning time and i was alone again. Josh was asleep in the chair next to me as i just lay there staring at the wall thinking of poems in my head. I forgot that Josh was there for a second so i started to quietly sing

“Down in the forest  
We'll sing a chorus  
One that everybody knows  
Hands held higher  
We'll be on fire  
Singing songs that nobody wrote  
My brain has given up  
White flags are hoisted  
I took some food for thought  
It might be poisoned  
The stomach in my brain  
Throws up onto the page  
Does it bother anyone else  
That someone else has your name?  
Does it bother anyone else  
That someone else has your name?  
I scream, you scream, we all scream  
'Cause we're terrified of what's around the corner  
We stay in place  
'Cause we don't wanna lose our lives  
So let's think of something better  
Down in the forest”  
As i finished singing i looked over to see that Josh was awake now which made me blush just thinking about the fact that he probably heard everything.  
“That was beautiful Tyler. Did you write that?”  
I nodded  
“Wow. Brendon told me that sometimes he can hear you singing in your room. I'm assuming that’s how you express your emotions and thoughts since you rarely talk. Do you also play any instruments?”  
I nodded again, and held up three fingers  
“three? Which ones?”  
I motioned strumming in the air as if i had an invisible uke  
“Guitar?”  
I kept strumming  
“Ukulele?”  
I nodded. This game of charades continued until he had guessed all of them. Bass guitar, ukulele, and piano. Of course i hadn’t played in a long time but i was dying to at least play the ukulele again.  
“That’s cool Ty. i play the drums and the trumpet.”  
I smiled at the thought of Josh also being a musician.   
“You know Breadbin is also a singer and amazing performer. We did the school talent show together once and it got so wild that the principal told us that we weren’t allowed to perform together anymore.”  
He laughed at the thought as Brendon walked in with food for all of us. I really appreciated that they ate with me so that i wasn’t so lonely. But they also made sure that i ate most of my food, while before i ate less than half at every meal.   
In the middle of the meal i decided to speak up. Luckily they had gotten used to the fact that i might randomly speak if i really felt like it so they didn’t look as shocked this time.

“Josh?”  
“Yeah bud?”  
“I...I want to visit…..with Jenna.”  
“Ok, well i will schedule that for two days from now. Also i will have to be in the room when you visit as just a rule from the institute.”  
I nodded   
“Oh and Brendon and i were talking and we want to transfer you to the institute that i used to work at. Columbus institute As your psychologist it is my professional opinion that this current environment is not helping you get better. You need a space where you can be creative with instruments and art to express how you are feeling and to help me understand you better.”  
I felt kind of excited since he said that i would be around instruments, but i was wondering what would happen to Brendon since he is the only person besides Josh trust. i really didn't want to get to know anyone new. I guess Josh could tell what i was thinking since he said,  
“And don’t worry i got the director to transfer Brendon too so that we can both be there to help you”  
I sighed in relief and thought about what Jenna is gonna say to me and why she hadn’t visited me before. Questions im sure she would have a good answer to. She always had a good answer for everything, if you cant tell im being very sarcastic.

Flashback  
-  
Zack and I had been walking around the neighborhood since our dad was drunk again and i didnt feel like going home to deal with that.  
“Hey Tyguy you hungry?”  
“I guess so”  
Zack smiled,   
“How about we go to that burger place down the street?”  
“Sure”  
As we walked there we talked about school, Zack usually asked me about my day but i rarely heard about his day, not like it mattered though since school sucks.  
“So Tyler, how was school today?”  
“I don’t know why you even ask anymore Zack, since my answer will always be that i'm still getting bullied so of course my day sucked.”  
“Ah, come on Tyler. I know school sucks ass, but at least you have me to hang out with afterwards. And i’ll forever be there for you right?”  
He nudged my arm and i smiled forgetting about all my troubles for a minute  
“Yeah”  
We arrived at the burger joint but as we turned the corner to go sit down we saw the usual jocks and cheerleaders including Jenna sitting there. As we took our seats and started eating one of the Jocks said something that of course Zack didn’t appreciate.   
“ oh look, it’s the school faggot. Fucking wrist-slitter”  
Zack threw a fry at them, and yelled,   
“Oh whatever. You guys probably suck each others dicks in the locker room with how sex crazed you all are, or was that just a rumor?”   
I snickered since someone at school had started a rumor that one of the footballer was seen sucking dick in the locker room. The thing is no one knew if it was true and know one knew which footballer it was about.  
This made the jocks very upset. They stood up to confront us but Zack just grabbed his fries an pushed them away and walked with me back towards the house.   
We were walking down the street as Zack was throwing fries up in the air or me to catch when my phone went off  
Jenna🎀: Tyler. I cant’ be friends anymore if you are gonna keep doing stuff like this  
Ty💀: Well you know what. You never defend me or Zack when your “buddies” make fun of us so maybe its ok if we don't hang out   
Jenna🎀: Fine  
I put my phone away and continued to joke around with Zack until it was so late that we had to go home

End Flashback  
-  
“Alright Tyler, you will be visiting with Jenna tomorrow and then after we will be bringing you to the new institute. If you need to slow down or you need more time to process anything you let me know okay Tyler?”  
I was gonna nod, but Josh deserved a real answer,  
“Okay. Th...thank you, Josh”  
“You're welcome Ty”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay Alive||-//


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is in 3 days so Merry Early Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!! Hope you enjoy the new Chapter.

Josh Pov   
-  
As we walked towards the visiting room Tyler seemed a little nervous. He had his head held low and he was breathing faster than normal so I stopped and turned him towards me  
“Hey Tyler, look at me.”

He looked up with tears in his eyes

“Tyler, I am right here and I am not leaving. I'm here for you. If you need to leave just tap my leg twice and we'll leave, you don't even have to say anything if you don't feel comfortable, Okay?”

He nodded and started breathing slower

We turned back towards the door and walked in. Jenna was sitting at the table and jumped up when she saw him to hug him. This scared him so he took a step back which made him bump into me so that his back was against my chest. Jenna didn't notice and pulled him closer and into a hug. Tyler just stood there stiffly until she let go and spoke up

“Tyler I am so happy to see you”

I guided Tyler to his chair at the table and took a seat right next to him before speaking

“Hello, Jenna. I'm Josh Tyler's psychologist at this facility. I presume they told you the rules but I will mention them again just in case. So, you have 30 minutes to visit, and if I deem necessary then the visit can be cut short or terminated immediately. If you bring up anything, or ask any questions that i deem unsafe or inappropriate I will step in. If you have any questions just let me know.”

She nodded 

“Hi Tyler. I know it's been three years but you disappeared one day and then your dad disappeared so I couldn't ask about where you went. But recently my friends sister was released from here and said that there was a kid named Tyler here, and that's how I found you.”

Tyler hadn't looked up from the table since he sat down. It was quiet for a second before Jenna spoke again.

“Tyler?”

I forgot to let her know that Tyler rarely talks

“Jenna, I don't know how much Tyler talked outside the institute but since he's been here he minimally speaks so just don't push him to speak to you.”

She nodded, 

“oh, ok.”

For about 15 minutes she spoke about her life. How many Instagram followers she had and what she was doing with her life before she mentioned something that made Tyler uncomfortable. 

“Well you know I am so glad that I found you since you are so important to me I care about you so much.”

Tyler started tapping my leg repeatedly. I closed my binder on which I was observing Tyler's behavior in.

“okay Jenna I am going to end this visit. If Tyler allows it then you can visit some other time. Have a good night.”

We stood up from the table and I was walking Tyler out the room when Jenna said, 

“I mean what I said Tyler!”

Before I could react Tyler turned around with clenched fists and yelled,

“Bullshit!!!! You didn't care when everyone made fun of me!! You knew Zack wasn't real and you left me all alone!!”

I grabbed Tyler by the waist and held him in place since he looked like he was gonna lunge at her and attack.

“you don't care!!!!!!! No one does!!!!!!! You didn't stay with me!!” 

Tyler was crying and screaming so I picked him up and put him over my shoulder as he struggled and Jenna was led out by the nurses as Tyler was still yelling through tears

“you didn't stay with me!!!!!You didn't stay!!”

When we got back to Tyler's empty room I sat him on his bed and gently grabbed his face, making him look at me.

“no one stayed” he whispered

“Tyler, Tyler. Calm down. I need you to breath with me. In and out. In and out.”

He was started to calm down 

“okay good Ty. That's better. Now i want you to count down from 20 to 1 but in a random order okay?”

He nodded and started reciting numbers

“20,....13…….15…...19……..9…...7….. 8…...10….11..12..5, 3, 14, 16, 4, 6, 2,1.”

His breathing was pretty much back to normal.

“I'm sorry. I'm..so sorry”

He whispered

“Tyler it's okay. You reacted the way that you feel. Now we just need to get you to a place where you can express those feelings through different means”

He nodded and wiped his tears while sniffing

Brandon walked in,

“Hey Ty, Jenna left so whenever you are ready we can get you set up to go to the Trench behavioural Facility. Take your time. And i brought those flowers you asked for” 

Tyler had written a note to Brendon yesterday asking if he could bring the yellow gerbera daisies that he kept hidden in a box. He had collected them whenever he was allowed supervised outside time. For some reason they were his favorite, and so he didn't let anyone besides Brendon touch or look at his box of daisies, so i let Bren bring the box to the new facility and put it in Tyler's new room for him.

I pulled Tyler into a hug and rubbed his back for a few minutes until he was completely calm and ready to go

“Ready Tyler”

“Yeah. I'm ready to leave Dema, Josh”

“Alright. Let's go”

 

Tyler Pov  
-

Josh put restraints on my wrists, as part of protocol when moving a patient, and led me through the grey hallways that I had memorized for 3 years now. But after 3 years I was finally getting out of Dema. The place that I hated. The place that reminded me too much of Zack. The place that Josh was saving me from. 

Goodbye Dema, Hello Trench.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay Alive ||-//


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT A/N: There is description of self harm and a suicide attempt started at the ⚠️ and ending at the next ⚠️ if you want to skip that scene. Also a lot happens in this chapter so get ready

Flashback  
-

We were walking to my therapy appointment. My dad had signed me up to go every saturday after my mom died and expected me to go, even though he's the one that really needs therapy. He also didn't sign Zack up which i thought was a little odd but i never questioned it

“hey tyguy, remember that halloween party?”

“yeah, what about it?”

“its tonight dude! After i pick you up from this appointment, we are totally going”

“fine”

He laughed, “what?! Ty-guy is going along with my plan without arguing about it? That's new”

“ha yeah”

We arrived at the office and Zack left as i went inside and headed to my least favorite place.

Inside i sat on a couch facing this therapist who always started off by asking me to tell her about my week, which i always told her about what Zack and I did. This week was different though, when i finished he was silent for a second before sighing heavily and rolling his eyes,

“Listen Tyler, ever session you tell me about Zack. And what i'm about to tell you is important, and i didnt want to but it seems like i have to now. Zack isn't real. You've never had a brother. Im sure if you look at family photos more closely you'll realize it.”

I didnt understand why everyone keeps telling me that Zack isn't real. Because he is.

“that's bullshit!”

“Tyler im trying to help..”

“No, just because you haven't met Zack doesn't mean he isn't real!”

I stormed out and waiting on the bench outside till Zack got there. 

“hey bud, you're out early.”

“Yeah well that guy makes me mad. Everyone keeps telling me you're not real and it's pissing me off”

“well look on the bright side. PARTY TIME!!

As we arrived at home we hung out for a little bit before Zack handed me a skeleton morphsuit.

“Here. Now no-one will know that its us.”

Timeskip

When we arrived i put the mask on and headed inside. There was a band playing in the living room, who were actually really good. Of course the football players were just zombie versions of themselves and everyone else was something generic like a witch or ghost.

I have always hated hated crowds so i stood towards the back of the crowd as Zack made his way towards the front and started dancing wildly to the music. I stayed where i was as i looked around at all the jocks and popular kids who had no idea that two uncool kids were here. If they knew i would've been beaten up by now. 

Zack kept dancing along to every song that played, getting crazier with every song until it was an hour later and most people were too drunk or high to even know what was going on anymore. 

I was even more uncomfortable than i was when we arrived so i was really glad when Zack walked up to me and suggested that we get going. He took off his mask as we walked out. I guess some people saw us because as we walked back up to our house Zack was pushed down by the jocks who started beating him up. I remembered that the baseball bat was still right inside the door so i ran in, grabbed and then ran back out to start swinging. 

They ran away as i picked up Zack to help him inside but as i walked in i saw our family photos in the entrance and realized that the therapist was right. All the photos had my mom and dad and me. 

Maybe….maybe Jenna was right. It was just me all along? 

I sat down on the couch as i thought about all of our time together. All the times he tucked me in, helped me with homework, or defended me from bullies. It was all me. 

No. Zack has to be real right?

I got off the couch and went to our room 

I walked in to talk to him, but he wasn't there. I started to panic a little but mostly i just felt depressed and hopeless. I had pushed Jenna and everyone away from me because of Zack. 

Ty💀: Jenna, im sorry. Zack isn't real, i know that now  
read 8:30pm

Ty💀: jenna i know u see this and im so sorry  
read 8:33pm

Ty💀: jenna plz  
read 8:35pm

Ty💀: jenna  
read 8:40pm

 

My cheeks started getting wet with tears. I tried to apologize, i tried to get Zack to stay with me, and i tried to get my dad to stop drinking. And they all left me.

Everything was going wrong and now i was more alone than ever.

Ty💀: sorry. I won't bother you anymore. I won't bother anyone anymore  
read 9:00pm

I went upstairs past my dad's room where he was passed out drunk as usual. I headed to the bathroom and locked myself in while running a bath when i got a text

Jenna🎀: wait what? Tyler dont do anything stupid

Ty💀: just promise me this. If i lose to myself, you won't mourn a day and you'll move on to someone else

⚠️  
I turned my phone off and got in the bath with my clothes on because, you know fuck it. I separated the metal razor from my shaving razor and slowly started to slice into both my arms. Once my forearms were covered in deep cuts i moved up to my shoulders and didn't stop till the bathtub and myself were covered in blood and i started to feel dizzy. 

I layed back and just sobbed loudly as i felt myself bleeding out. I had no reason to live anymore.

I guess i wasn't fast enough and jenna was worried enough because right before i passed out the door was busted down by firefighters and paramedics who immediately dragged me out of the bath as i tried to fight them. 

“No!! Let me go!!! Let me die!!! Let me….please. no...please”

They placed me on the ground and started wrapping and putting pressure on my arms. Then everything went black.

⚠

Later i was informed that i was being sent to Dema institute for my own safety. That's when i really gave up. I stopped talking because i had no reason to explain my life to anyone else and i never felt happy anymore. I just felt numb and lonely. Even when Brendon talked to me i never felt even a little bit okay until Josh came along and saved me from Dema. 

End Flashback  
-  
Right when we arrived at Trench i was escorted to my room which was already brighter and more colorful than my room back at dema. The first thing that Josh gave me was a notebook with a pen. 

“Here Tyler i know that you weren't allowed to have paper at Dema but i believe you are capable of having this privilege and it will be beneficial if you want to write down those songs that you make or just draw your emotions”

I reached towards the book and started crying because of how excited i was to finally be allowed to express myself. Back when i thought Zack was real i wrote songs and poems, mostly about Blurryface who Zack helped me get rid off. And now my dreams were plagued with nico and the bishops. These dreams started in Dema so i'm hoping Josh will save me in Trench.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suicide hotline :1-800-273-8255
> 
> Available 24 hours everyday
> 
> Self-harm hotline: 1-800-273-TALK
> 
>  
> 
> Stay Alive ||-//


	9. Chapter 9

Josh Pov  
-

I noticed that since being at Trench Tyler was doing much better. He was now giving me one word answers to things instead of not talking at all. Tyler was still having nightmares and hadn’t opened up about his life before being hospitalized, but what was more important is that he was comfortably adjusting to the new environment and had already filled one notebook after a week. 

 

Tyler pov  
-  
I had been at trench for a week and so far i had become more comfortable talking to Josh but only a few words. The journal he had given me was full already with drawings, lyrics, and poems. My most recent ones were about this man i saw in my dreams named nicolas bourbaki but those who now him most know he goes by nico. After Zack helped me block out blurryface i had flashes of nico and these nine bishops, burning cars, torches, and vultures but never a full dream until i got to Trench. 

The first dream i had started off with myself with a black neck and hands resembling blurryface. I was watching myself as i got on a burnt car when i crouched down and said, “We've been here the whole time, you were sleeping. It's time to wake up.”

I suddenly felt like i was in my own body again, but when i opened my eyes i was laying in a stream in a valley. I got up and started walking when i noticed figures on the cliffs above me and took a minute to look around. I couldn't tell if they were there to hurt me or not. In the distance i could hear a horse and when i looked to where the sound was coming from i saw a figure in a red cape and i immediately knew that it was nico but i didn't move almost as if i couldn't. When he got to me he pressed his hands against the sides of my neck, putting black paint back onto me. This paint took over my mind making it hard to breath or think. I was following nico against my will as if he had control over my feet. Some lyrics i had written yesterday came to mind as i walked so i started to whisper them to myself. 

 

“I'll be right there  
But you'll have to grab my throat and lift me in the air  
If you need anyone  
I'll stop my plans (I'll stop my plans)  
But you'll have to tie me down and then break both my hands  
If you need anyone”

As i was singing to myself the figures on the cliffs started throwing yellow gerbera daisy petals into the valley. They are my favorite flower because they symbolize happiness and innocence, two things i have lost but hope to gain again. 

As i was staring at these petals i looked at nico as his horse began to freak out and i realized that that wasn't nico but possibly blurryface was back. So then who is nico? Or is this nico?

On the cliffs as i was looking around i spotted two figures next to each other. One had a yellow x over his heart but a bandana covering his face. For a second it looked like Josh from the build and facial structure, and the person next to him had their hair pulled back but from the golden blonde hair it looked like Jenna. I thought about it for a few seconds before i decided that i needed to get away. I could feel the paint on my neck begin to fade as i gained control. I turned to run away and ran as fast as i could until i tripped in the water and everything started to go black. The last thing i saw was the red caped figure grabbing my legs to pull me away. I felt a flower in my hands and saw only one person on the cliffs now. The mysterious X taped man. I shut my eyes for a few minutes and when i opened them i was back in my room at Trench. 

I sat up in bed quickly and looked around. My breathing was fast and i was sweaty and panicked. 

I looked at the clock in my room and saw that it was 2:00am meaning i had only slept for 2 hours since falling asleep, but now i was wide awake couldn't shut my eyes without thinking about that valley. So, i grabbed my journal and wrote the whole dream down before just writing down some lyrics. 

Before i knew it it 9am and Brendon walked in to wake me up.

“Oh. Good Morning Tyler. I see you're already awake. How'd you sleep? You look a little tired”

I definitely was tired but i didn't want to sleep until it was light out since the dark made any dream much scarier. 

“um...yeah i didn’t sleep well”

“Okay well Josh knows how important sleep is so if you like like to nap for an hour or two i can come wake you up then.”

I was surprised by this offer. In Dema they had a very strict schedule and never allowed naps even if i hadn't slept all night.

“are...are you sure?”

Brendon nodded

“100 percent. I'll be back in 2 hours to wake you up okay? I'll let Josh know so don't worry.”

“okay”

He turned to leave as i layed back down

“wait..Brendon?”

“Yeah?”

“um..thanks”

“you're welcome Tyler. Now get some sleep my dude”

He walked away, and a few minutes later i had fallen into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up to Brendon gently shaking me awake again

“Hey Tyler. Time to get up. Breakfast is ready in the dining area and after you eat you'll have a session with Josh.”

I sat up and headed to breakfast before meeting with Josh. He was probably gonna ask about why i had little sleep last night and what i filled my journal with. I still hadn't decided if i wanted to tell Josh that i saw someone in my dream who reminded me of him. 

Either way i knew i was probably gonna have plenty more crazy dreams anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay Alive ||-//


End file.
